Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Service of Love

The joys of being a working mom.  I'm working tonight(this morning) with my daughter, Tylea.  She tends to keep my hours and it's a form of bonding time that we share.  Her favorite movie is Baby Einstein's Old McDonald.  So the movie merrily sings in the background as Tylea climbs on me while I work on my computer.  She chews on random things within our reach like my cell phone, a pen, an IBprofen bottle(great noise maker for a 10 month old).  Other moments she blows on my tummy or plays peek-a-boo over my side.  She's super playful and happy during these night hours.  She mostly occupies herself but every once in awhile she plays with mom.  I really enjoy this time of the day(night) with her.  Maybe it's because it's the one on one time.

With two older children it's hard to slow down the day to focus on the baby.  Usually she's slung on my hip, there for the ride.  Don't have to worry about her as I chase down the boys because she's attached.  There are moments in the day though.  Like when I push her on the swing while her brothers roam the playground and I get the cherish her giggles.  Or those sweet moments before a nap when she cuddles in deep for comfort before she drifts off.  Oh and to have a baby this little hug you!  It's amazing.  Overwhelms your heart to get a hug from this little girl.  She hugs you tight too.  I love it.

Another favorite time with her is when she sleeps.  Like now.  She's so beautiful and peaceful when she sleeps.  I can stare at this little wonder to my heart's content in the quite moments of sleep.  Although it's late and I know the morning will come too quickly, I also love the fact that she will sleep in.  Her late hours are followed by late mornings.  Making breakfast with my boys much easier to maneuver as I answer emails and flip the pancakes.

Being a working parent isn't all fun and games.  There are a lot of moments that it's hard to focus on one or the other.  Having to choose to answer a business call or to answer your child.  Responding to customer emails quickly or jumping on the trampoline.  Doing an act of service for your co-worker or for your child.  Making a business brunch or making a pb&j lunch.  Feelings tugged from all sides with a chaos of priorities.  In the big picture your child is #1.  In the day to day, however, work pays the bills.  Food, clothing, housing, utilities are all things needed to take care of that child.  So do you miss the precious moments of their toddlerhood to answer a phone call that pays the water bill?

For me it depends on the day.  Lately I've just been piled under so much work that it's hard to take time for anything else.  I do see light though.  Things are getting better.  I'm trying to change my perspective, even if only a little each day.  My children are so wonderful.  They are still small, if only for a moment.  I haven't missed it.  I'm still in the middle of their baby years.  So I choose to stay up late.  To work during those hours that they rest.  And I hope that I won't be too tired to enjoy the morning and their sweet faces.

My second child turns 3-years-old tomorrow(well today).  Such a sweet, amazing little soul.  Born wide eyed and aware.  Observing his surroundings.  Now a toddler with great imagination and a gentle calmness.  He has his choatic moments and can keep up with his active big brother though.  My little Jaxon.  Happy Birthday buddy.

Zavien is my oldest kiddo at 4.5-years.  I can't believe he's that old already.  He has friends and cousins starting kindergarten.  I get to keep him for one more year though.  September baby.  He's pretty logical and I can see his mind turning when I talk to him.  He is now showing love in surprising ways since his sister was born.  There's something about having a little sister, a darling, an angel.  He told her "Goodnight cutie patootie" tonight.  So cute!

Oh to have all the freedom in the world.  If only money weren't an issue.  If only we could raise our children without having to work so hard to provide a life for them.  I emphasize WE because my children need time with my husband as well as with me.  We both want to raise them, cherish them, play with them.  Which is also a large part of why we own our own businesses.  It allows us the freedom to choose our days.  Granted in the beginning stages we work more hours than the common 40 hour week.  I digress.

I look forward to the time when the people are of one heart and one mind.  Where we each contribute our talents and provide our services and no one goes wanting.  Where a farmer gives his produce, a delivery driver delivers, and a diaper store gives diapers. Not for exchange of funds.  But because there are those in need of those things.  And when the farmer, driver, or shop keeper need seeds, a new tire, or accounting that they receive those items in return.  Again no money.  You give and you receive based on your need.  There are not those who take advantage because they know that there is no heavenly reason.  We are not here for ourselves.  We are here for others and to love others.  To love God's children is to love God.  To serve God's children is to serve God.  When you nurse the wounded, feed the hungry, cloth the naked they are God's children.  This planet has been created with enough resources to create happy healthy lives for all.  We need to only lay down our selfish desires and to focus on God's children.

So why am I a working mom?  To help create that community that I long for.  To help united a people that share their talents and resources with each other.  A community where no one is in need.  I enjoy my children, they participate in my work, they meet the people that we serve.  I hope that we give them a strong foundation in service that they will grow and help those around them in an effort to be a people of one heart and one mind.  That foundation starts with love.  Love found in moments of peek-a-boo and playing horsies.


Lucinda Clark said...

It is not often that I am moved to tears, but at this moment- I am. You are a blessing Brookie- Lee, and have the ability to bring sunshine to many dark places. Keep it up girl!

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